Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
my mom: you do realize that one day you will have to pay for all your own things
me: yes but today is not that day
yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.
this is the best thing ive ever heard
i’m pretty sure this twitter account is how sexting works in night vale
i mean really
what is going on here
this is officially my new favourite thing
thank you for sharing it with us
SEXTS FROM THE VOID
LOOK WHAT MY CHEM TEACHER PUT ON MY TEST
NO TEACHER WRITES LIKE THAt
THIS IS MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER NOW STOP CALLING BS
hes showing this post to all his classes now
tell your chem teacher to change his theme
Artist creates bird’s piercing gaze after dropping two Hula Hoops into coffee
I LEGIT THOUGHT THERE WAS AN OWL IN THAT CUP
how the fuck do you drop hula hoops into coffee
This must be a huuuuge coffee mug if you can drop 2 hula hoops into it.
^they’re a kind of crisp in the UK
you don’t know how hard i’m laughing at the americans who didn’t get it omg
if it’s not american it doesn’t exist
what the fuck is a crisp