ask-gallows-callibrator:

levi-has-the-booty:

Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH 

SHOTS FIRED 

(Source: sneakyfeets, via dandelionsandshootingstars)

my mom: you do realize that one day you will have to pay for all your own things

me: yes but today is not that day

laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

(via devils-knocking-at-your-door)

mr-onceler:

taleasoldastimelords:

cliffrose-acetone:

emilie-faith:

itwasabusinessdoingpleasure:

spookydingoinnuendo:

riddlemehiddleston:

blinkanditsover:

Artist creates bird’s piercing gaze after dropping two Hula Hoops into coffee

I LEGIT THOUGHT THERE WAS AN OWL IN THAT CUP

how the fuck do you drop hula hoops into coffee

This must be a huuuuge coffee mug if you can drop 2 hula hoops into it.

^they’re a kind of crisp in the UK

you don’t know how hard i’m laughing at the americans who didn’t get it omg

if it’s not american it doesn’t exist

what the fuck is a crisp

mr-onceler:

taleasoldastimelords:

cliffrose-acetone:

emilie-faith:

itwasabusinessdoingpleasure:

spookydingoinnuendo:

riddlemehiddleston:

blinkanditsover:

Artist creates bird’s piercing gaze after dropping two Hula Hoops into coffee

I LEGIT THOUGHT THERE WAS AN OWL IN THAT CUP

how the fuck do you drop hula hoops into coffee

This must be a huuuuge coffee mug if you can drop 2 hula hoops into it.

^they’re a kind of crisp in the UK

you don’t know how hard i’m laughing at the americans who didn’t get it omg

if it’s not american it doesn’t exist

what the fuck is a crisp

(via lilmiss-leo)